Balancing Life

Lately I've spent a lot of time thinking about the balance in my life, or lack thereof. There are so many things I want to accomplish and I don't know how I'll ever fit it all in. There are, of course, obligations I can't do anything about, such as work, which leave little time or energy for anything else. There are relationships that can't be ignored. The list goes on and on. Somewhere between all the "have-tos" are the "need-tos" and "want-tos" that I never get to.

I'm not sure how I'll ever figure out the proper balance of it all. There are days when I wish I would just unplug the TV, since that doesn't help matters any. I know that as soon as I sit down to watch "for a minute to relax" I won't get up again for a couple of hours. Many days I just feel tired and run down, and yet I have to try and keep going because dinner needs to be made and kids need putting to bed.

Among all the tiredness and business I'm supposed to find time to "Be still and know that He is God." When!? At four in the morning!? But I also know that therein lies the problem. If I could better center my life around Him then things would start to balance out because of it. The eternal priorities would become more apparent and the worldly things would seem less important. I know my stress level and tiredness would start to fall away and clarity would settle in. But, instead, I ride the constant merry-go-round of life and never stop to get off.

So I write about the frustrations and it goes a little like this:

Lost in the nothingness

Of day to day life

Trying to survive

Amidst all the strife.

Days roll along

There is no end

Broken life

Needing a mend.

Lost in the nothingness

Can't find my way

Of course, I got distracted or busy and didn't finish it. I'm sure I'll get to a point again and finish this one or start a new one. I really want to do more than survive, but I always feel caught and just hanging on for the ride as "Crazy Train" runs through the back of my mind.